Contract or Covenant Part 1 (He/She is not you)

Lately, I have had conversations with 3 of my friends that were going through relationship issues. Different problems, similar foundations. And thinking about my past relationships too, I realise the common thread. And it flows through all our relationships...with our partners, parents, children, siblings, friends etc. We expect too much. And we think should get more than what we put in the relationship...at the very worst, we deserve exactly what we put in. Certainly not less! The minute we think we are being short changed, the minute we think we are giving more than we are getting, the problems begin. This series is however based on love between a couple...married or almost there. There are different remedies for this problem and I'll start with the easiest to understand.

PROBLEM 1 - HE/SHE IS NOT YOU:
I know we have all heard this statement, and said the statement too. After complaining about what somebody did or said to us, the next statement is "I would never do/say that to him or her". Okay, fine...so you would never do or say those things. But that's you. You realise that don't you? That is you! Not him. Not her. You! And you are not dating or married to yourself. A lot of us would not even date ourselves...but that's a post for another day. But come on, can we give our partners a break????? There are many things that we wouldn't do for ourselves that they have done for us, so why don't we say that then? Why do we think they should behave the way we behave only when we feel like they have wronged us in some way? We seem to forget our own bad behaviour. We think it is okay, for us to behave badly and apologise...we call that accepting each other's differences. But their own bad behaviour is totally unacceptable, right? I get that.
I find that if we just accept the fact that we NOT dating ourselves, things could be a little easier. Perhaps we wouldn't be so distraught when our partner does or says something we wouldn't. We would accept their apology and get over it. Cause again, that's what we expect them to do when we are the ones on the wrong side...cause again, that's what we would do, right? ;-) Don't worry I get it. Accept that your partner is another individual. They are not even your siblings, so chances are you don't share the same view about everything. And believe it or not, they are allowed to make mistakes. SO the next time our partner annoys us, let's take a minute..and NOT think about how we could never do that.
If GOD treated us that way...yes, I feel guilty too, you're not alone. So come on, let's try things this way, and see how far it will take us. Trust me, the minute you make up your mind to, your partner is going to do something unbelievable...and you'll forget all you have read, but trust me it is a test...and there is great fulfillment in knowing that you have passed a test.