Okay, this is not the continuation of Contract or Covenants..I'll get back to that...but today, the 28th day of April, 2010 (yes, I'm a lawyer), is our 4th month anniversary (The Asiwaju and I)!!!!!!!!
I am so happy, so so excited. I know it is just 4 months, but 4 months is a looooooooong time in relationships, trust me. Anyway, I have decided to take the day to appreciate my man.
I have a good man...a mighty good man. He makes the extra effort to keep me happy. He invests into our relationship, financially, emotionally and with a lot of time. He listens to me, even when I'm talking about the most irrelevant things. He indulges me when I'm just being spoilt. He motivates me to do more..achieve more. He is smart, super smart. He has taught me so many things. I can say, that he has helped me look at things differently. My baby is humble. He talks to everyone...literally, everyone...full conversations, not just a mere nod or something..he talks to you and listens to you and for those minutes, if you feel like you mean nothing to everyone, you feel like someone cares. For every beggar that comes his way, every tout, every sales assistant etc...people that many of us don't see, he sees them, he knows their names, he knows their story and they love him for it.
I have my friends tell me all the time that they love him, they think he is cool, they think he is down to earth etc...and my head swells with pride. He has a way of making you comfortable around him. He will ask you loads of questions and wind youuu, he cracks me up.
He makes me laugh sooooooooo hard.
He is sooooo hard working. So so hard working and he is SUPER ambitious. Very disciplined and he has his head screwed on tight!!!!!! He does not try to keep up with the Jones'. The Jones' have their own lives to live, and he has his. He taught me something in Yoruba "Ma fi ago alago sise" (Don't use another person's watch/clock to work). He lives by that, and I could not agree more.
Then physically...oh! I love him. I live the way he looks and I love his style. He wears what suits him...not what is in fashion...my baby's got style!
Well, I am sure the rest of you are about to puke. I did say it was our anniversary didn't I? And I did say I wanted to appreciate my man!
We have our arguments...we don't agree on everything. We have probably hurt each other at different times, at least I know he has hurt me. But we move on from our fights pretty quickly. He doesn't dwell on these things. I do. And I am ashamed of myself.
We have had 4 happy months of dating officially and I hope we remain happy.
Happy Anniversary to us both!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Contract or Covenant Part 1 (He/She is not you)
Lately, I have had conversations with 3 of my friends that were going through relationship issues. Different problems, similar foundations. And thinking about my past relationships too, I realise the common thread. And it flows through all our relationships...with our partners, parents, children, siblings, friends etc. We expect too much. And we think should get more than what we put in the relationship...at the very worst, we deserve exactly what we put in. Certainly not less! The minute we think we are being short changed, the minute we think we are giving more than we are getting, the problems begin. This series is however based on love between a couple...married or almost there. There are different remedies for this problem and I'll start with the easiest to understand.
PROBLEM 1 - HE/SHE IS NOT YOU:
I know we have all heard this statement, and said the statement too. After complaining about what somebody did or said to us, the next statement is "I would never do/say that to him or her". Okay, fine...so you would never do or say those things. But that's you. You realise that don't you? That is you! Not him. Not her. You! And you are not dating or married to yourself. A lot of us would not even date ourselves...but that's a post for another day. But come on, can we give our partners a break????? There are many things that we wouldn't do for ourselves that they have done for us, so why don't we say that then? Why do we think they should behave the way we behave only when we feel like they have wronged us in some way? We seem to forget our own bad behaviour. We think it is okay, for us to behave badly and apologise...we call that accepting each other's differences. But their own bad behaviour is totally unacceptable, right? I get that.
I find that if we just accept the fact that we NOT dating ourselves, things could be a little easier. Perhaps we wouldn't be so distraught when our partner does or says something we wouldn't. We would accept their apology and get over it. Cause again, that's what we expect them to do when we are the ones on the wrong side...cause again, that's what we would do, right? ;-) Don't worry I get it. Accept that your partner is another individual. They are not even your siblings, so chances are you don't share the same view about everything. And believe it or not, they are allowed to make mistakes. SO the next time our partner annoys us, let's take a minute..and NOT think about how we could never do that.
If GOD treated us that way...yes, I feel guilty too, you're not alone. So come on, let's try things this way, and see how far it will take us. Trust me, the minute you make up your mind to, your partner is going to do something unbelievable...and you'll forget all you have read, but trust me it is a test...and there is great fulfillment in knowing that you have passed a test.
PROBLEM 1 - HE/SHE IS NOT YOU:
I know we have all heard this statement, and said the statement too. After complaining about what somebody did or said to us, the next statement is "I would never do/say that to him or her". Okay, fine...so you would never do or say those things. But that's you. You realise that don't you? That is you! Not him. Not her. You! And you are not dating or married to yourself. A lot of us would not even date ourselves...but that's a post for another day. But come on, can we give our partners a break????? There are many things that we wouldn't do for ourselves that they have done for us, so why don't we say that then? Why do we think they should behave the way we behave only when we feel like they have wronged us in some way? We seem to forget our own bad behaviour. We think it is okay, for us to behave badly and apologise...we call that accepting each other's differences. But their own bad behaviour is totally unacceptable, right? I get that.
I find that if we just accept the fact that we NOT dating ourselves, things could be a little easier. Perhaps we wouldn't be so distraught when our partner does or says something we wouldn't. We would accept their apology and get over it. Cause again, that's what we expect them to do when we are the ones on the wrong side...cause again, that's what we would do, right? ;-) Don't worry I get it. Accept that your partner is another individual. They are not even your siblings, so chances are you don't share the same view about everything. And believe it or not, they are allowed to make mistakes. SO the next time our partner annoys us, let's take a minute..and NOT think about how we could never do that.
If GOD treated us that way...yes, I feel guilty too, you're not alone. So come on, let's try things this way, and see how far it will take us. Trust me, the minute you make up your mind to, your partner is going to do something unbelievable...and you'll forget all you have read, but trust me it is a test...and there is great fulfillment in knowing that you have passed a test.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
In the beginning...
No, I am not talking about Genesis 1v1. I am merely speaking about my blog. My very own blog. And this is the very first one! I am at work, smiling at the laptop and punching away at my keypad. I wonder what they think I am doing. Perhaps they think I am writing some amazing piece...reviewing an agreement...and opinion perhaps...yeah right! Well, it is an opinion of sort, no? Perhaps not a legal one, but it is my opinion, and I'm encouraged to have one, so here it is!
I have been thinking about blogging for a while now. Its just that I'm the sort of person that has an idea and I don't always follow it through. And when I do, I start, and then I get bored/distracted halfway and I abandon it. I hope this blog will be different. My other problem was that I didn't know if I wanted a theme or not. So today, sitting at my desk, I thought I'd blog about the most interesting person/phenomenon in the world!!! Yes, you guessed right!!!! Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you! For those of you who don't know me yet, not to worry, you'll soon catch on. And for those of you that guessed wrong, what did you think I was going to say? GOD? JESUS? THE HOLY SPIRIT? Ooops, you're wrong! HE is NOT a person. HE walked on this earth as one, but HE is GOD!!! And I would NEVER refer to him as a person, otherwise, I'd write PERSON, MAN, etc...yes HE has to be in caps lock all the time cause you see HE is not like you, me or anyone!
Okay, now back to "me"! So I decided to blog about myself and all that I am. I am a woman, I am black and I am Christian.
I was going to name it "Confessions of a Single Christian Woman" but then I wondered what would happen when I get married? SO I stuck to Black cause I will ALWAYS be black...I am no MJ! I will ALWAYS be Christian, and I will ALWAYS be a woman.
It was 2 of my colleagues that introduced me to the blog world. Opal-Topaz and 'Mina. Opal-Topaz started her blog, and I was intrigued. Then 'Mina called me someday to say that someone had blogged about someone who was very dear to me and had passed on, and that was Temmytayo. So I started reading her blog, and she became my friend. I read every single one. She doesn't know me oh! But she is my friend, cause I know her...through her blog.
Then today I read Opal-Topaz...I haven't been there in a while, and my dear colleague, blogged about her dear brother. I never met him, but I knew him. (Ehnnnn...abuse me...so what if all these people don't know me? I know them!) Ehen, as I was saying about Opal-Topaz...her blog was beautiful..it was real. I remember the day 'we' lost him, I cried...not because I knew him, but because tears and pain, just like laughter, smiles and happiness, are contagious.I wanted to take their pain away. I wanted to do something...anything to ease it a bit. But I was helpless as they all were, but I had hope in the fact that the HELPER, would help them wake up the next morning, go through the day and the days, one after the other..and HE did. It is still not easy...but HE is still helping them in ways that no human being can.
GOD is....HE is GOD! HE leaves me speechless! I've not been good lately...and I marvel at that, cause HE is GOOD...whether I'm good or I'm bad..."HIS why is bigger than HIS but" so HE keeps loving me. Remind me to blog about that someday.
But I want to go now...I might be back today, I might be back tomorrow...who knows? I need to keep the suspense...like 24. I am Jack! LOLLLL!!!!
GOD Bless!
Oops I almost forgot...I started blogging on my baby's birthday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!! May the LORD bless you and keep you. May HE fill your mouth with laughter and your tongue with singing. May you be like a city that is set upon a hill, whose light cannot be hidden. MAY he cause you to walk in HIS favour all the days of your life! May HE bless you as you go out and as you come in. May HE bless you in the city and in the field. May he make you head and not tail, above only and never beneath, first and not last. And may HE bless you with what is MOST important, the will and the "do" to have a closer relationship with him.
Have a fantastic day my Chocolate Biscuit! Mmwwuuaahh!!!!
I have been thinking about blogging for a while now. Its just that I'm the sort of person that has an idea and I don't always follow it through. And when I do, I start, and then I get bored/distracted halfway and I abandon it. I hope this blog will be different. My other problem was that I didn't know if I wanted a theme or not. So today, sitting at my desk, I thought I'd blog about the most interesting person/phenomenon in the world!!! Yes, you guessed right!!!! Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you! For those of you who don't know me yet, not to worry, you'll soon catch on. And for those of you that guessed wrong, what did you think I was going to say? GOD? JESUS? THE HOLY SPIRIT? Ooops, you're wrong! HE is NOT a person. HE walked on this earth as one, but HE is GOD!!! And I would NEVER refer to him as a person, otherwise, I'd write PERSON, MAN, etc...yes HE has to be in caps lock all the time cause you see HE is not like you, me or anyone!
Okay, now back to "me"! So I decided to blog about myself and all that I am. I am a woman, I am black and I am Christian.
I was going to name it "Confessions of a Single Christian Woman" but then I wondered what would happen when I get married? SO I stuck to Black cause I will ALWAYS be black...I am no MJ! I will ALWAYS be Christian, and I will ALWAYS be a woman.
It was 2 of my colleagues that introduced me to the blog world. Opal-Topaz and 'Mina. Opal-Topaz started her blog, and I was intrigued. Then 'Mina called me someday to say that someone had blogged about someone who was very dear to me and had passed on, and that was Temmytayo. So I started reading her blog, and she became my friend. I read every single one. She doesn't know me oh! But she is my friend, cause I know her...through her blog.
Then today I read Opal-Topaz...I haven't been there in a while, and my dear colleague, blogged about her dear brother. I never met him, but I knew him. (Ehnnnn...abuse me...so what if all these people don't know me? I know them!) Ehen, as I was saying about Opal-Topaz...her blog was beautiful..it was real. I remember the day 'we' lost him, I cried...not because I knew him, but because tears and pain, just like laughter, smiles and happiness, are contagious.I wanted to take their pain away. I wanted to do something...anything to ease it a bit. But I was helpless as they all were, but I had hope in the fact that the HELPER, would help them wake up the next morning, go through the day and the days, one after the other..and HE did. It is still not easy...but HE is still helping them in ways that no human being can.
GOD is....HE is GOD! HE leaves me speechless! I've not been good lately...and I marvel at that, cause HE is GOOD...whether I'm good or I'm bad..."HIS why is bigger than HIS but" so HE keeps loving me. Remind me to blog about that someday.
But I want to go now...I might be back today, I might be back tomorrow...who knows? I need to keep the suspense...like 24. I am Jack! LOLLLL!!!!
GOD Bless!
Oops I almost forgot...I started blogging on my baby's birthday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!! May the LORD bless you and keep you. May HE fill your mouth with laughter and your tongue with singing. May you be like a city that is set upon a hill, whose light cannot be hidden. MAY he cause you to walk in HIS favour all the days of your life! May HE bless you as you go out and as you come in. May HE bless you in the city and in the field. May he make you head and not tail, above only and never beneath, first and not last. And may HE bless you with what is MOST important, the will and the "do" to have a closer relationship with him.
Have a fantastic day my Chocolate Biscuit! Mmwwuuaahh!!!!
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